Monday, January 5, 2015

Mirrors in January: 50 Questions I Asked Myself in January

I came across a fellow Female Geek Bloggers' posts about 50 questions she asked herself. Alice stumbled upon a list of questions and decided to use those questions to help her reflect on her life in this moment. I have decided to ask myself these questions at the beginning and the ending of this year to see how I have changed or stayed the same through the year.

50 question to ask yourself:

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?
I only have two nicknames, but neither are used regularly. "Court" is mostly used by my dad and older family friends and the Fab 5. "Corky" was given to me by a little girl that we used to babysit from church. The funny thing is that the little girl doesn't call me that anymore but her parents and grandparents still do!

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?
Right now, I have Live Original and The Interestings on my shelf. I have started both, thinking that I would be reading all over break, but in reality I've only read a hundred pages.
3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?
I doodle during some classes to keep my hands busy. Mostly classes I have a hard time staying focused in. The doodles mostly consist of hearts and swirls, but sometimes they are cute little animals.
4. What do you do if you can't sleep at night? Do you can sheep? Toss and turn? Try to get up and do something productive?
I toss and turn. I also lay flat and completely still to see if I can numb my whole body like in those relaxation CDs.
5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it?
I would like to think I could last a while. I like being alone, but I would have to have either a journal or access to music or books. Or all three and I could last a long time. But I could also see myself getting into trouble by over thinking my life. So probably like a day. Tops.
6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? 
The special ones with actual notes in them! I love written things. I am a words of affirmation type of person.
7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know?
Either my Nana or my best friend and her family. Both have a lot of stuff they don't even realize they have.
8. When making an entrance into a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost?
I definitely search for someone I know. Once I get comfortable, then I can start introducing myself and come more out of my shell. But I need a little boost from a friend.
9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be?
I would say my strongest sense is hearing. I can recognize voices and notes in songs. I can tell if an actor has played multiple voice characters. Like they actor who plays Ham from Toy Story has been in almost every, if not, all, Pixar movie. I can also tell you what songs sound familiar or the name of a song after hearing only a few seconds. It's weird. If I had to loose one, it would be between smell and touch. I cannot live without sight or sound or taste.
10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?
Honestly, if I pass a mirror I always look in it. I am not sure how many times a day, but I will not avoid a mirror.
11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?
Uh, well, one time I prayed to Santa. Does that count?

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?
I guess it would be taking a day or two to lay around and watch Netflix all day.

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?
I honestly don't know.

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections?
I don't, but I read a lot of Playbill articles and pretty much anything about show business.  I really enjoy reading about the new shows and their reviews.

15. Which animals scare you the most? Why? 
I'm pretty cool with most animals. But the animal I do not trust is a cat. You do not have any idea what they are thinking and they seem really evil. I mean they are know to kill babies! Ya I definitely do not trust cats.

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage in it head-on?

17. What was the most recent compliment you've received and savored?
Someone recently told me that I could play Claire in Proof really well.  She is a pretty good actress and Proof is a pretty heavy show, so I really appreciated that, even though I really like her sister Catherine because I relate to her better. I pretty much am Catherine.

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?
I am pretty shy, but most people don't know that because once I know them I am crazy. But it's the initial introduction that I'm not very good at. Hopefully, changing departments in the middle of a school year ail help with that.

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain.
I like routine, but I don't like doing the same thing everyday. For instance, I know I don't want to work in place where my work never changes. I like variety and I can get bored easily with monotonous tasks.

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain.
I don't consider myself high maintenance, I know that I definitely was not in middle and high school. I basically wore tee shirts and jeans all the time. But as I have gotten older, I have become more high maintenance in comparison to my school years. If that makes sense?

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?
Oh man, you would think that with the New Year I would have hit the gym, but it's been a while since I've worked out. It's pretty bad.

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why?
Both. I have the Fab 5 which are my close four friends and then I have two pretty close, but not Fab 5 material,  friends in college. So they are my close friends, but while in college, I have gained a lot of acquaintances from classes and clubs and stuff. When I count the people I know, it seems like I have a lot of friends, but would I go to them with my problems? Probably not.

23. Are you more inclined to build your own empire or unleash the potential of others?
I would like to think I'm a leader, but most of the time I am a devoted lieutenant or vice president. But in the cases where I am the leader, I dominate. It really depends on the subject matter.

24. What's a strange occurrence you've experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone?
I really don't know. You know that deja vu feeling like you have seen or heard something before. I have like "visions" I guess of like seconds of a scene and I'll think, "When's that going to happen?" But like years later it does. It's really weird and I can't really explain it.

25. What do you think about more than anything else?
My future. Careers and where I am going to live and if I'll every meet someone. I think about moving to NYC and what my studio or apartment will look like. What type of job I will have. It's funny, I used to say "when I get married" but sadly, I've changed it to "if I get married". And I'm not even 20.

26. What's something that amazes you?
Child Prodigies. How?

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why?
Shoot. I'm a big girl. Bring it on.

28. Where's your favorite place to take on out-of-town guest?
Hmm, I haven't really had the chance to truly do that, but I guess it would be Fredericksburg's Main Street with all the little shops and restaurants or to Enchanted Rock. Depending on the day.

29. What's one thing you'd rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why?
Either take care of my car or cook. I have no idea how my car works, and I'd rather not screw it up by trying to figure it out. I also would rather be served than slave over a meal and it be crappy. I am not a cook. But I like doing pretty much everything else.

30. Do you have a catchphrase?
Hmm, that's a tough one… I catch myself using the word "turd" when referring to people who are annoying me. I also say, "well poop" when I mess up or things go wrong.

31. What's your reaction towards people who outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them?
It doesn't really bother me. If I don't agree with something and they keep talking about it, then I will either change the subject or leave the conversation. I already have my opinions about certain topics or beliefs and other people have theirs. They can talk about it all they want, that's cool and I usually don't try and tell others that they are wrong, but I don't have a problem telling them how I see things.

32. How and where do you prefer to study?
I like to study by myself in the lower level of the library with headphones in. I don't do groups wells because they never seem to be focused.

33. What position do you sleep in?
Either fetal position or on my face with my arms tucked in. Mostly on my face.

34. What's your all-time favorite town or city? Why?
I've never been to Nashville, but I really like the look and the vibe that it seems to give off. I would love to live in New York City because I like busy. I also really like my hometown, Fredericksburg, because I know most everything in it.

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?
Funny, Kind, and Confident.

36. How has your birth order/ characteristics of siblings affected you?
I am the oldest, so I am responsible and courteous of money and financial status of the family. I understand situations better than my younger brother. I try not to ask why as much. I entertain myself easier and do not have to be waited on.

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?
Worry. I would never have to worry about the what-if's and I would just do it.

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?
My friendship with Arlaina L. It's not that it was ever "broken", but she moved away and we never kept in touch until maybe last year when I found her on Instagram. I found out that she's been married for a year and has moved to Wyoming while her parents are still in Texas. I wish we could have been in our lives more than we were, to be able to learn from each other's experiences.

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Ooo. When I was little, I used to want to change it to Delilah for some reason. I do not like that name now. I would either change it to my middle name, Blake, or something really fancy that requires a cute nickname. Like Eloise and be called Ellie or Anastasia and be called Annie.

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not?
I do believe that ignorance is bliss. It's nice to be young and not know what terrible things are going on in the world. It's easy to not be afraid of the world when you don't know anything.

41. What do you consider unforgivable?
Lying. Or betrayal. If you can't tell me, are we even friends?

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?
I think I have forgiven myself, but I know I have definitely not forgotten. But looking back at certain failures or rejections, I can see how God has worked those failures and turned them into amazing opportunities. It's just hard to see that at first.

43. How difficult is if for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?
I personally cannot recall a situation where some has absolutely refused to apologize, but I can see where it can be really hard to forgive someone who seems very immature and stubborn.

44. Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for?
I am not sure.

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain.
I am not a super open person, so it can be a little difficult for me to trust people. But once someone has earned my trust, it's my full and complete trust.

46. In what area of your life are you immature?
I guess in my non existent love life.

47. What was the best news you ever received?
May 21st 2013. It was probably around 12:30-1 AM and my One Act family and I were all waiting in Bass Concert Hall to hear the results of the 3A UIL OAP State Championship. We listened as 3rd place was called, not Fredericksburg. 2nd place, not Fredericksburg. "And in first place, from Fre—" That was all we needed to hear. We all jumped up in excitement. We had just become the 2013 State Champions. My best news was not even a full sentence.

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?
It really depends on the situation. I'll say something when I know that everyone is thinking it, but I find it difficult for me to voice my opinion when it's different than everyone else's.

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone that you disliked at first?
Before my first semester of college even started, a girl named Morgan added me on FB. I accepted her after looking at her profile and realizing that we had a lot of similarities. On move in day, we ran into each and she knew me immediately. I was pretty confused, but we've had a couple of classes and have become good friends. Not as close as we would like, she's super busy and now with changing majors, I will be too.
In 8th grade, this girl moved to Fredericksburg and I thought she was so weird. She wore these dumb headbands around her head everyday. Everyone thought she was so cool, but I just couldn't see why! She was in my theatre class and we ended up competing for the lead role. I ended up getting it and she came up to me at a football game later asking, "How's it feel to be the lead?" I mean who asks that!? I knew there was no way that we could be friends. But after 3 years together in One Act, Olivia is now part of the Fab 5 who I consider my closest friends! It's crazy how things work out.

50. When do you find yourself singing?
Uh, ALL THE TIME. When I'm alone at home. In the car. While working. But I truly sing when I'm by myself. I try and master my "broadway style" voice. Which, by the way, I don't have. :)

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